sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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