yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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