can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
