watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
