2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize