he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
