There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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