It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
two words...techno handjob
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
