He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want a musical about memes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
