Just cropdusted the office
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
