my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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