Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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