Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
