normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
