maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
