Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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