I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
areolas are like halos for boobs.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize