I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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