We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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