I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
