I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
