puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
