I'm gonna have a badass scar
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
