I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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