didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
