I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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