I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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