Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
