So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
