Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
should my penis look like a turkey
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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