Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
