That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is this like a preordered booty call?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
