Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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