One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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