When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
