I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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