just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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