before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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