I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
