When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
why is half of my head shaved?
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