I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
