so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
