Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
