chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
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