Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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