Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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