Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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