Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
