I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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