How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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