I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
