D3 body, D1 cock
I think im going to throw up on grandma
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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